Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I’m worried I have a bat bite on my hand, I have two small marks about 1 cm apart. I haven’t been in contact with a bat but I’m worried about at night. My fingers have a slight tingling sensation and my arm feels cold but isn’t. Am I ok?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Why is Prince Harry being fired by BetterUp CEO Alexi Robichaux, and what role did Marc Benioff’s decision to pull sponsorship play in this?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

What is the most memorable thing that happened in your college days?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

For 9 Days, Earth Was Sending Out Mysterious Signals. Now We Know What They Were. - Yahoo

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Why is my elder sister so mean?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I can read

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

What are some photos of female sexual organs?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Are there really people who still believe the Earth is flat?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

What does Jesus mean in Revelation 3:3 when He states, "Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have found your deeds unfinished in the sight of my God?"

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

What is one thing nice you did for someone today or something they did for you?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

What might be the social consequences of an ethnic as opposed to a civic conception of the nation?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Don't you think Democrats are so full of it stool softener and an enema couldn't help them?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Do crossdressers like wearing pantyliners and tampons in their butts?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Why do British people always write "xxx" after their names?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

My wife has a bunch of really attractive friends, and she expects me to never say anything to her about how beautiful they are. Does this seem fair? I love my wife, and just commenting shouldn’t hurt anything, right?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I can count

I don’t buy bullshit

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have a reading level above third grade

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand how hurricane paths work

I see through liars

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t cotton to rapists